plans

I was pretty much planning to be a bum for the next year, but I guess that's not going to happen.

I was about halfway through Pennsylvania, in the middle of my move back east, when I got a call about a job offer. A professor acquaintance of mine needed some coverage for a class at her university. It's kind of a lucky break, since I had asked if they had any openings a month before and they had already set the schedule.

On top of that, I got another call from the school a couple weeks ago. Another professor had to back out of a class at the last second, and it's not being taught by yours truly. An added bonus is that it's a class I've never taught before and one I want to have in my teaching portfolio. Unfortunately, it's a class I've never taught before and the first class is a week from today. I only just yesterday received the materials I need to teach the course.

Finally, I started working with my carpenter friend. It's cool stuff and I'm learning a lot...not to mention the extra money...

But the big news is that I'm going to be an uncle...again...sorta...probably. My best friend, that I've known practically since birth, is having a baby. Of course, I didn't hear it from him, I heard it from my mother, who heard it from his mother. He isn't telling anyone about it, and only let it slip to his mom. He was going to end the relationship with the mother before the pregnancy happened. Needless to say, he's a little conflicted. On one hand, he can maintain a relationship (in some capacity) to a woman with whom he doesn't want a relationship. On the other hand, he can just bug out and not take responsibility, probably get his wages garnished in child support, and I'd also have to kick his ass for being a douche.

Speaking of family and kids, I think I need to cut down on drinking. A couple weeks ago, I was on a pub crawl with the best friend's sister (who is like a sister to me), and I committed an act that is almost unspeakable. I can barely bring myself to blog about it.

*deep breath*

I sorta-kinda-semi-offered to take my nephews, her kids, on a trip to Chucky Cheese. Hey, I was drinking, I didn't know what I was saying. She was drinking quite a bit, too. I'm thinking we can act like nothing happened, right?

when i grow up

I have an absurd amount of free time on my hands. I literally do not have anything to do, or anywhere to be, until the 24th. You'd think I'd blog more, but I also have nothing to blog about.

I should be working on my teaching portfolio. Recently, I found out about a massive wave of retirement among professors in CT. Despite the poor economy, I'm hoping it will turn into job opportunities for me. But wait, I'm getting ahead of myself.

The plan for the next year is simple. There really is no plan. I've had "a plan" since I was ten, and it hasn't got me where I wanted to be, so it's time to try something different. This time, I'm going to explore any and every remotely interesting opportunity that comes my way. For example:

Furniture Making. A friend of mine is a brilliant furniture maker. I've worked on projects with him on a purely casual/hanging out/fun basis, but now he's looking to take it to the next level by trying to sell his stuff to a larger market. We both have design ideas, and he's into the idea of us working together. The downside is that it's hardly stable work. It's a side project at best. Not to mention, while I know of quite a few consignment shops in the region that would showcase his work, selling high-end handcrafted furniture in this economy is probably going to be rather difficult.

Carpentry. I've worked with the same friend doing general carpentry. Currently, he does the furniture making on the side, and his main source of income is general carpentry. He's happy to bring me in on any projects he does in the future, but there is a downside. The closer he gets to retirement age (he's in his late 50s), the less he feels like doing general carpentry. It's pretty physically demanding work, and he'd rather spend the time in his workshop making furniture.

Electrical. My semi-uncle is a pretty successful electrician. I've been buttering him up to the idea of taking me on as an apprentice. He's a little apprehensive, but I think I can wear him down in time. I would have to do some extra schooling (for which there are night schools) to get licensed, but it's not too big of a deal.

Social Work. Believe it or not, I used to be a social worker...sorta...I think. When I was in undergrad, I was hired by this new social work agency (probably NPO) that worked with troubled youths. I was only part-time, and my caseload was only two clients, but considering I didn't even have my Bachelor's at that point, it was still an accomplishment. I would probably still be working there to this day, if it wasn't for a certain girl...but that's a whole other story.

Professoring. I can still be a professor with just a M.A. It's all you need to teach at most community colleges. This would be a win-win for me because then all my education wouldn't go to waste, and community college professors only have to teach (which I love), and are not expected to do research (which I don't exactly love).

Homeless Drunk. If nothing pans out over the next year, I'll end up destitute beyond my wildest dreams. I'll lose my car and health insurance, get evicted, and become a street person. On the bright side, it will give me a chance to catch up on my drinking, which I have been neglecting for years now.

Anyway, I do have quite a few options to explore and one of my aunts is actively keeping her eye out for any opportunities to send my way. At this point, I'm feeling pretty good about things. Then again, it might just be latent elation over my impending move out of this place.

And now for something completely different:

random bits

Apparently, North Korea is going to nuke Hawaii. Allegedly, they were supposed to do it on Father's Day, but the launch has now been postponed to Independence Day. I guess Father's Day isn't a big enough holiday for a nuclear holocaust. At least Independence Day would be a little ironic. But, I'm still wondering, why Hawaii? That's just a waste of a perfectly good nuke. Hawaii is merely a second-rate tourist spot. The worst casualty would end up being Dog the Bounty Hunter. Not to mention, the last time someone attacked Hawaii, it didn't end well for that someone (I won't mention any names, domo arigato). Maybe I'm giving them too much credit, but I think NK can do better than that. I bet they would have a fair shot at LA...and silver lining, if LA gets nuked, that means no more Gossip Girl, 90210, or the remake of Melrose Place.

On that note, I recently saw the commercial for the remake of Melrose Place. The moment I saw that, I reflexively started shaking my fists in the air while looking up and screaming, "Why, God, why!?!?!?!"...and I'm not even religious. This puts me one step closer to killing my television for good.

And speaking of death, holy crap, Michael Jackson is dead. I think I'm going to watch The Wiz in commemoration of the event. And, yes, I'm being serious. The Wiz was awesome.

On the subject of awesome, I recently bought a box of generic golden grahams from a Super Target. Normally, I don't eat dry cereal, but I had a real craving for golden grahams. Anyway, I think something went wonky with the cereal sorter at the factory because the box was half generic golden grahams and half generic cinnamon toast crunch. Like, seriously, when have you ever found a surprise in generic food that was actually good?

As for generic, I recently saw Slumdog Millionaire. I didn't bother catching in the theaters because I wasn't impressed with the previews. It looked like another piece of mainstream Hollywood triteness, just set in India. But everyone I know kept telling me that I should see it, and it was so original, and blah blah blah. So, I buckled (hey, I've had a lot of free time recently, and have been filling it with movies). Man, I was so underwhelmed. It was crazy predictable. I even figured out what the final question was going to be as early as that scene with Jamal, Salim, and Latika as kids camping out in that shipping crate in the rain. And, not to spoil the ending that anyone could have figured out after 10 minutes into the movie, but he gets the money and the girl? That's just bush league.

Well, if you liked Slumdog, then you'll really hate this movie: